"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering." Fredrich Nietzsche
 |
| I Will Beat My Ass Today To Kick Yours Tomorrow IWBMATTKYT |
1) They weigh you (with biking shoes, no less) and then display the weight in front of everyone the first class. I know how much I weigh to the ounce and I don't need to advertise that to everyone that I am riding with.
2) They display the progress of everyone that is taking the class on a computer board. Inevitably, I was the last one displayed.
So, what I got out of this shaming was: Yes, I am overweight and yes, I suck on the bike. Now, I already knew this, but now everyone who took the class knew it too. I spent $200 for this?!
Something had to change and I needed to get better on the bike.
Thankfully, one of my friends 'liked' The Sufferfest on Facebook.
What was this Sufferfest? It is cycling training videos you can do in your own home on your own trainer. And they are affordable! These folks at Sufferfest have created a fictional land called Sufferlandria where pain, suffering and humiliation take place. These videos are hard, but they do motivate you to get on the bike in the dead of winter with officially licensed footage from races like Tour de France, Paris-Roubaix, Giro D-Italia and more. The music is also badass, which is especially needed for climbs and countless intervals during the workout. For newbies like me, there are instructions on the screen with perceived exertion and cadence suggestions. AND, most importantly, they make you FASTER!
For the second year, I have participated in the Tour of Sufferlandria. The Tour is not a race, but a challenge to get your butt on your bike for 9 days and suffer. It. Is. Epic.
 |
| HONOR! GLORY! VICTORY! |
The first day of the Tour is a time trial called "Rubber Glove". They suggest during training that you do a time trail every 10 weeks or so to see if you are improving. And yes, I am improving this winter!
The second day is a 2-hour video called "ISLAGIATT" (I Thought It Was a Good Idea At The Time). This video focuses on climbing and endurance. I hallucinated during this video it hurt so bad.
Day 3 was a Monday. Thank goodness that the race director had heart and we only had to do a 45-minute video comprised of 1-minute maximum intensity repeat intervals called Revolver. No big deal, right? Wrong.
Tuesday (Day 4) featured one of my favorite Sufferfest videos: Hell Hath No Fury. It is a 1:15 minute video that includes 2 x 20:00 interval workout. Boring, right? Not so because the race footage is the UCI Pro Women's racing footage from the World Cup. A video of the sisters and not of the men. Inspiring.
Wednesday (Day 5) featured my other favorite video: The Wretched, plus Extra Shot. You start off with Extra Shot, which is a 20:00 'booster' video you can add on to another one of the Sufferfest videos or if you are crunched for time, a short workout. It is just cruel to start with that one. The Wretched has Tour de France footage of climbing, except for the sprinting at the end…oh, and there is no resting either.
Thursday (Day 6) is A Very Dark Place. After the previous day's climbing and sprinting, it was time to go back to those fun, sustained 4:00 minute intervals. Ugh. Each interval takes you to a darker place that you thought you couldn't or didn't need to reach.
Thank God for Friday (Day 7)! If you made it this far without your soul being crushed, then you were in for twofer today. The first video was Angels which includes 3x 8 minute climbs after doing 10:00 worth of over/under intervals. After completing that one, get started on The Hunted, which is more climbing with 5:00 inverse intervals at the end. And then you get to go do your real job for the day…
Saturday (Day 8)- you are almost done, but first let's settle in for an 1:40 ride called The Blender. I don't remember this one…it was so horrific that my memory has blocked it out. All I remember was that there were three courses, but it wasn't a meal…there were pain shakes.
Sunday (Last day)- I thought to finish with this video was cruel. Violator is a video that features 64 sprints. If that isn't enough, the video includes a shark, a hamster, a leopard (which actually scared the sh*t out of me) and an airplane. So wrong, but so right.
Yes! I completed the Tour of Sufferlandria and left X-t in the dirt. In fact, he was so traumatized by ISLAGIATT in the first hour, he got off of his bike. He hasn't been on it since.
So, what's next? The suffering will continue as I bought the Novice Training Plan to complement my triathlon training.
Thank you to The Sufferfest! You gave me 9 days worth of motivation and something to look forward to doing during a difficult winter that we are having.
I cannot wait until summer. IWBMATTKYT!
